The Third Option
Plus: Seven Things on dream jobs, felt films, vintage science illustrations and more
Hello friends!
Welcome everyone who signed up this week, and thanks to all of you who have been reading these missives. I love reading your replies and seeing those likes. They help me work out what I should do more/less of in this newsletter to make it better for everyone. Keep ‘em coming! Here’s what I wanted to share with you this week:
One — A story about creating your own path and moving beyond binary decisions
Two — Seven Things on dream jobs, felt films, vintage science illustrations and more
1. The Third Option: Finding Fulfillment in Life and Career
Deep conversations with friends and mentees often revolve around monumental junctions in life: “Should I take this job offer or stay in my current role?”, “Should I move to this city or stay where I am?”, “Should I stay with my boyfriend or leave him for this other guy.”. These simplifications of complex and consequential issues to binary choices also play out at a societal scale. The Brexit vote, with its seemingly simple vote of leave or remain, comes to mind.
One reason we end up with binary choices in the first place is that we are really running away from an uncomfortable situation and contrast where we are right now with the first-best alternative that appears on our radar. A catastrophic consequence of this is behaviour such as job-hopping when dissatisfaction drives us to abandon our job for a new one, which - after a brief honeymoon period - we quickly realise is not what we were after either. The cycle repeats itself, and eternal dissatisfaction ensues.
Instead, understanding what truly drives us and what great would look like for our lives supports a vision we can run towards. You always want to run towards a vision rather than away from dissatisfaction. This requires deep introspection and realising our driving motivations and what we want to optimise for with any possible course change.
I find this to also be true for positive binary decisions. Not too long ago, I saw a career coach to help me with a binary choice: Which of two domains I am deeply passionate about should I focus my work on going forward? Through a series of questions, we explored my main drivers and motivations. We ultimately decided it would be best for me to create my third option, one that would combine my passions.
Here are a few questions I’ve found helpful when exploring what I actually want:
What are you optimising for (e.g. stability, progression, quality of life, having fun, money, …)?
When have you felt best about your career (relationship, etc.)? Why was that?
In your spare time, when you read online or post on social media, what issues do you gravitate towards? What might be the patterns?
Focusing on option A, what do you like or dislike about it? If you went with it, how would you feel when you wake up tomorrow?
Have you told others about your needs? Who can support your goals and help brainstorm how to make them a reality?
This is not an exhaustive list, and none of these questions is a magic silver bullet. But there are common themes to them: They help break a complex issue down into its components while exploring emotional reactions to possible scenarios. And they nudge our thinking towards realising that what we thought might be impossible might not be so.
Alternative options may not be perfect either. They may not be immediately apparent and take more effort to discover and shape ourselves, but they almost always exist.
//Image: DALL·E responding to “A hand hovering over two different slices of cake seen from above, digital art.”
2. Seven Things I thought were worth sharing
Personal Growth: On the topic of seeking your dream job - Wetransfer’s interactive report says it doesn’t exist
Creator Showcase: Andrea Love creates soft and smooth stop-motion animation from felt
Data Vis: Beautiful population density maps of major economies
Illustration: Vintage illustrations of Agnes Giberne’s The Story of the Sun, Moon, and Stars (1898)
Technology: A 20-year-old student created a sign-language translator
Sustainability: HBR on A Tumultuous Year In Sustainability
Fun/Entertainment: Live webcams seem like strange artefacts of the early days of the internet. This week, we rediscovered a fascination with them. Favourites include a watering hole in Namibia, the view from the ISS, a martini bar in Florida, and the view of Mt.Fuji